It all stems from struggling for sleep.
Rattling, buzzing. I feel like everything is passing at a million miles an hour. And I’m missing it all. I’m not doing enough to secure my future. I’ve not got a house, heck, I’m not even paying into a pension fund. I know how important it is, I’ve just not got down to reading through the paper work on it and filling the forms in. I’m trying to learn things, that I’ve spent ages on before and never really got. There are other things that I’m able to understand much better, but they aren’t as cool, so I’m not bothering with them.
I’ve got more books to read than I’ve got time to read. I could sit down and start on some of the bigger ones and I’d still be going in 6 months time. More and more tech books to cater to what ever I’m obsessed with at the moment. More and more tech books that will be irrelevant in 6 to 12 months time. I have 5 books on Java that I bought on my masters course that I won’t sell, yet won’t get the usage from any time soon.
All this put me in a very funny maudlin mood the following day. I’m still coming down from it. Who says you need drugs to fuck yourself up? You can do it all in your head with a little bit of effort!
Addendum:- I’ll put an scan of the garbled bit of paper that gave life to this post. I don’t think that the coffee that I had around 21:30 really influenced it. However it is possible. I’m not generally that affected by coffee as much these days. It doesn’t have the ‘zing’ effect anymore :/